funny quotes

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funny quotes

Message  Mostafatafoghalt le 8/12/2008, 19:41

- Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
-- Bill Cosby
- We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
-- Bernard Manning
- When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
-- Billy Connoly
- Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
-- Sam Ewing
- To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
-- Paul Ehrlich
- As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
- Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. Cool
-- Dik Van Dyke
- I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.

-- Groucho Marx

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funny quotes and jokes

Message  Mostafatafoghalt le 8/12/2008, 20:03

- I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
-- Billy Connolly
- A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!
-- Jerry Dennis
- I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
- So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?'
She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.'
I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
-- Henry Youngman (Goodfellas, 1990)
- When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
-- Jeff Shaw


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